sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
