when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
