yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
