I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
