I accidentally had phone sex last night
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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