Your face is a jimmy john
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
