well you can't waste a boner
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
