chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
