About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
