it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
