I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
