Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
