lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
A+ Viking dick
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
