the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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