The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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