His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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