she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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