That's intense
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
