you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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