If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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