I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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