There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
