How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
