Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
