every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
