Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
