her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
and you fell through a lawn chair
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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