I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
