it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
