He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
