i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
