i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
