Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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