I'm eating all of the evidence.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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