i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
