dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm passing your future prison.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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