Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Randomize
