Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Acid is not a monday night drug
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
