Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
