I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
