peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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