The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
