I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
