Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
