dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
