Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
