my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
