I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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