Cold hands, warm shart.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
