Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
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