I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
