Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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